I saved the lives of ten ducks, not but 15 minutes ago. Prepare to be amazed, amused and impressed by my tale.
Once upon a time, at 12:40 today, I hurried out of my apartment to get to my class that started at 12:45. I crossed the street and started heading down the sidewalk when I spied a duck sitting off to the side of the path. I said, "Oh, hello duck."
She responded by walking out into the sidewalk, and nine baby duckies (that I hadn't noticed hiding in the grass) followed suit. These baby duckies couldn't have been more than two days old--if that. They were teeny, and so fuzzy and cute. AND THEIR MOTHER WAS LEADING THEM TO IMMINENT DANGER.
She was making a bee-line for the road. She was bound and determined to take her children to the other side.
Perhaps a few of you are concerned about my class. You probably noticed that I left my house five minutes before it was supposed to start, and some of you may even know that it takes 15 minutes to walk to the building my class is held in. Did I have a dilemma? No! The innocent lives of ducks is of far greater value that being late for class, especially since I was already going to be late for class anyways.
I ran behind the cars that were parked along the curb to head off the mother duck and herd the little family back into the grass. I popped around from between the cars, waved my arms and said, "No duck! Don't do it!"
She hissed at me.
I informed her that she was being rude and I was trying to save the lives of her children.
Now, allow me to paint this picture for you. I am standing in the road, hair still wet from my shower. The wind is blowing, because it never stops blowing in Rexburg. I am verbally addressing small birds, who are huddled between large cars, and my voice carries. Add to this that I am waving my arms, and moving in a rather animated fashion. The people driving by, and the other students walking on the sidewalk to their classes cannot see the ducks. All they see is a 22 year old girl who has lost her mind.
And to make it even better--Momma Duck is still convinced she needs to be on the other side of the street. Naturally, this means that she is attempting again and again to make a break for the road with her adorable, flightless babies in tow.
I stayed in this position for ten minutes. I was playing this twisted game of ping-pong, but with ten balls on the table at once, the biggest of which is actually threatening to attack me. Finally, after about 93 billion disturbed stares from the helpful on-lookers, a nice young man had the nerve to ask what I was doing.
I pointed emphatically at the cluster of suicidal water fowl and said, "DUCKS!!"
Immediately he understood the situation and jumped in to help. With our forces combined, the two of us managed to herd the reluctant mother back onto the sidewalk. The babies tried jumping up, but they were so small they couldn't make it, so we had to gently toss them up next to mom. I was pretty sure that momma was going to flying jump-kick the guy in the face because he got really close to her and she hissed super loud and puffed up at him.
Another ten minutes and we eventually got them all up and into the grass. When they were in the grass I asked if he had a cell phone, since I didn't have mine with me at the time. He reached for his phone, but right as he did this a campus service truck pulled out of a driveway not 20 feet away. The guy, whom I will call STEVE because I never found out his actual name, ran out into the road and jumped in the path of the oncoming vehicle. The man inside rolled down his window and I heard STEVE shout, "DUCKS! We found ducks, we're trying to help them."
The man in the truck told STEVE he would send somebody. STEVE came back to where I was guarding the ducks and relayed the info. We waited.
For ten more minutes we kept the ducks in the bushes. They hunkered down after some time and the job was easier. In this time I saw a class mate of mine on a bike. He was in the the same class that I was now 20 minutes late for, so I called out to him. His name is Brett.
I said, "BRETT! I am missing class for a good cause--there are baby ducks!"
I caught Brett by surprise, and he almost went over his handle bars, but after he righted himself he came over to us. The details of the situation were made known to him and he decided to join us in our animal husbandry.
He also informed me that class had be cancelled. (See? Everything ALWAYS works out for me in the end! ಠ‿ಠ )
So, by this time I grew impatient and asked for STEVE's cell phone again. I called the campus accounting office because that is the only campus number I have memorized. "Hello." I said, "I need to speak to a campus grounds person. Transfer me somewhere please."
I was transferred to the help desk. Music sounded in my ear, indicating that I was on hold, and this when we saw them. Two grounds crew men coming over the proverbial horizon with a box. I hung up the phone and waved to them. The five of us--by Divine will, I am sure--captured momma duck and put her in the box. Then we frantically scooped up nine baby ducks and put them in the box with momma.
Now they are in a box, on their way to a nearby park were they will be delivered. Crisis averted, problem solved, success achieved. I am the master commander.
I made a difference today.
THE END. *Cue credits music*